Tiye tikambirane za kugonana, mwana. Mwachindunji, tiyeni tiyankhule za mawu omwe tiyenera kuwagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zambiri (mkati ndi kunja kwa chipinda chogona) kuti tikhale ndi thanzi labwino, maubwenzi osangalala. Tinalemba Rosara Torrisi, PhD kuchokera Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy , za mawu omwe amafuna kuti maanja azigwiritsa ntchito pafupipafupi (ndi omwe ayenera kuwayika m'chipinda chosungiramo).
Mawu Awiri Awiri Ayenera Kukumbatirana
'Mwina'
Mawu akuti 'mwina' angatsegule zokambirana zatsopano ndi zotheka, Dr. Torrisi akutiuza. Tiyerekeze, mwachitsanzo, kuti wokondedwa wanu akufuna kuyambitsa sewero mu moyo wanu wogonana. [Mwa] kunena kuti ‘Ayi! Koma mawu mwina amalola kukambirana chifukwa chake ali ndi chidwi, chifukwa chomwe angafune kuchitira izi ndi inu komanso kuti mufufuze zomwe mungasangalale nazo. Ndipo Hei, ndizabwino kwambiri ngati zikuwoneka kuti kusewerera sizinthu zanu. Koma mwa kukambitsirana za nkhaniyi, mungaphunzirepo kanthu za mnzanuyo ndipo mwinanso kupeza china chatsopano choti musangalale naye limodzi.
'Compersion'
Kunena zoona, tinali tisanamvepo za mawu akuti ‘kukakamiza’ koma timakonda tanthauzo lake: chosiyana ndi nsanje. Kumvera chisoni ndiko kumverera chikondi kwa wokondedwa wanu pamene akusangalala ndi chinachake kapena munthu wina, akufotokoza Dr. Torrisi. Mawuwa amagwiritsidwa ntchito nthawi zonse ndi gulu la polyamory kufotokoza momwe mungamvere pamene mnzanu akugawana nthawi ndi kugonana ndi wina, koma tanthauzo lake likhoza kupitirira kuchipinda chogona. Nthawi zambiri timakumana ndi okondedwa athu pamene akusangalala ndi bwenzi lawo lapamtima kapena pamene akusangalala ndi chisangalalo atapambana masewera a mpira, akufotokoza Dr. Torrisi. Kumva chisangalalo kwa munthu wina nthawi zambiri kumachitika mwachibadwa, koma ndi luso lomwe lingathe (ndipo liyenera) kukulitsidwa. Chifukwa chake m'malo motengera kaduka kapena kaduka nthawi ina wokondedwa wanu akusangalala ndi zomwe siziri za inu (kaya mukuwonera gawo la Cobra Kayi kapena kuyankhula ndi barista wokongola), yesani kuchita zokakamiza - nonse mudzakhala osangalala kwambiri.
Mawu Awiri Awiri Ayenera Kupewa
'Nthawi zonse' ndipo 'siyi'
Nthaŵi zonse ndipo sakhala mawu olepheretsa, akutero Dr. Torrisi, akuwonjezera kuti salola kulankhulana mozama ndi kokulirapo. Mawu awa akhoza kukhala ovulaza chifukwa nthawi zambiri amakhala osatheka (mnzako amaterodi ayi kuphika mbale? Kodi ndinudi nthawi zonse amene amayambitsa kugonana?) ndipo musalole kuti pakhale kusiyana kulikonse. Chofunika kwambiri, ngati mukufuna kusintha (monga kupempha mnzanuyo kuti akuchulukitseni nthawi zogonana kapena kungochotsa zinyalala), kuwuza munthu yemwe nthawi zonse [kapena samachita] izi sikuwalola kuti akule. Ndipotu mawu amenewa amayambitsa mikangano m’malo mongokambirana zinthu zomveka. M'malo mwake, yesani kuwafotokozera chifukwa chake zomwe akuchita zili zowawa kapena zomwe mukufuna kusintha, kapena zomwe mungafune kuti achite m'malo mwake.
Zogwirizana: Mawu Awiri Amene Wothandizira Mabanja Amanena Apulumutsa Ukwati Wanu (ndi 2 Kuyika M'chipinda Chosungiramo)
