'Ine ndi mwamuna wanga tili ndi banja lachikondi, lochirikiza, koma ndikuda nkhawa kuti timagonana kangati. Zimakhala zabwino nthawi zonse tikakhala nazo, koma palibe aliyense wa ife amene amamva kufunika kokhala nazo nthawi zambiri. Ndemanga yanga yabwino ndi kamodzi pamwezi? (Ngakhale ndikudziwa kuti nthawi zina zimakhala zochepa!) Ndili ndi mantha obisika awa kuti izi sizokwanira, komanso kuti munthu aliyense wokwatirana yemwe ndimamudziwa amagonana nthawi zambiri. Kodi sindidera nkhawa chilichonse? Kapena kodi tiyenera kuyesetsa kuchita zambiri?
Tikukhala m'dziko latsopano lopenga, ndipo palibe kukana kuti, kudutsa America konse, kulipo kuchepa kwakukulu kwa kugonana . Ndiye tikutani masiku ano mmalo mogonana? Zosavuta! Tikuyang'ana mafoni athu kapena kutsegulira (ndi kugawa) ku HBO, Netflix, Hulu ndi Prime.
Ifenso tikukwatira pambuyo pake m'moyo, ndipo monga zaka zapakati pa ukwati woyamba Zikachuluka, munthu wamba amabwera ku ukwati ndi zaka zambiri za kugonana kosasinthasintha. Mwachidule: Timazolowera kuchita zinthu zina osati kugonana.
Malinga ndi General Social Survey, Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri okwatirana amagonana pafupifupi kamodzi pamlungu. Koma pali chifukwa chokhulupirira izi zomwe zanenedwa sizolondola . Makamaka, chifukwa anthu amadzimvera okha za moyo wawo wogonana, nthawi zambiri amatsutsa chowonadi. Mwachitsanzo, kuchuluka kwa malonda a kondomu sizikufanana kuchuluka kwa mchitidwe wogonana womwe anthu amanenera pogwiritsa ntchito kondomu. Mwa zambiri.
Izi ndi zoona: Ndizofala kwambiri kudandaula ngati mukugonana mokwanira kapena ayi, makamaka mu chikhalidwe chomwe chimakhudzidwa kwambiri. Koma ndikufuna kutsindika chimodzi mwa zikhulupiliro zanga zazikulu: Ngakhale kuchuluka kwa kugonana komwe mukugonana ndi kwachibadwa, bola ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli bwino ndi nthawi zambiri.
Ngati muli m'banja losangalala kwambiri, ndipo nonse mumakhutira kugonana kamodzi pamwezi ndikulumikizana mwanjira zina, ndinu abwinobwino. Pali anthu enanso ambiri ngati inu! Koma muyenera kudzifunsa funso ili:
Kodi ndikufunadi kugonana kwambiri, kapena ndikuda nkhawa kuti chibwenzi changa sichigonana mokwanira ngakhale ndili wokondwa?
Ngati pansi mukufuna kugonana kwambiri, ndipo mukumva kuti simukukhutira ndi kugonana, ndiye kuti muyenera kubweretsa ndi mwamuna wanu kunja kwa chipinda chogona. Nenani, Hei, ndimadabwa ngati tingayese malo atsopanowa omwe ndidawerengapo? Kapena, ndikufuna kuwonjezera kuchuluka kwa kugonana kwathu; tiyambe kuika kugonana pa kalendala? Ndiye, CHITANI zimenezo. Ikani kugonana pa kalendala. Ndizodabwitsa momwe mungathere mosavuta kugonana pokonzekera maganizo ndi thupi, kumayambiriro kwa tsiku.
Ngati mwakhutitsidwa pogonana, koma mukudandaula kuti mwamuna wanu sali, funsani funsoli mwachindunji. Mwana, kodi mwakhutitsidwa ndi mtundu wa kugonana komwe tikugonana komanso kuchuluka kwake? Ndilibe vuto, koma ndikungofuna kuonetsetsa kuti mumamva bwino za moyo wathu wogonana. Mwina pali zinthu zomwe akufuna kusintha. Mwinamwake iye akufuna kuti muyambe kwambiri kapena kukhala wolamulira kwambiri. Mwinamwake angafune kuyesa machitidwe atsopano kapena maudindo. Mwinamwake kubweretsa izi kudzatsegula chitseko cha kukambirana kwakukulu, komasuka. Zikumveka ngati muli ndi mwamuna wabwino, yemwe angakhale womasuka kuti muganizire izi limodzi.
Koma mwina iye ndi kukhutitsidwa, ndipo nkhawa zanu ndizofanana ndi mamiliyoni a anthu— wina aliyense ali ndi moyo wogonana wolusa kwambiri, ndipo sititero . Pankhaniyi, ndikufuna kuti mupume ndikukumbukira kuti pali mitundu yambiri yazachiwerewere. Zomwe mukundiuza zikumveka bwino pamaphunzirowa.
Izo zinati, ngati inu muli ayi chidwi ndi kugonana konse ndipo mukufuna kukhala, mukhoza kulankhula ndi dokotala wanu. Nthawi zina, matenda ena ndi mankhwala amatha kulepheretsa libido yanu. Ndipo uthenga wabwino: Pali zokonza izi!
Mfundo yofunika kwambiri: Moyo wathu wogonana suli wokhudzana ndi a Jones. Fufuzani ndi mnzanu. Ngati ali wokondwa ndipo ndinu wokondwa, ndine wokondwa. Mapeto a nkhani.
Jenna Birch ndi mlembi wa Kusiyana kwa Chikondi: Dongosolo Lachikulu Lopambana M'moyo ndi Chikondi , kalozera wa zibwenzi ndi kumanga ubale kwa amayi amakono. Kuti mumufunse funso, lomwe angayankhe mugawo lomwe likubwera laPampereDpeopleny, tumizani imelo ku. jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
