Ndakhala ndikudziwa kuti ndinali ndi amuna ndi akazi, koma ngakhale nditakhala pachibwenzi ndi atsikana m'mbuyomu, posachedwapa, akhala ambiri anyamata. Chotsatira chake, palibe aliyense wa anzanga pambuyo grad kudziwa mfundo imeneyi za ine, kuphatikizapo chibwenzi changa panopa. Ndikufuna kumuuza za kugonana kwanga, koma ndili ndi mantha kuti sangachite bwino. Ndi njira iti yabwino yobwerera kwa iye?
Wina wapafupi ndi ine adatuluka ngati wachinyamata zaka zingapo zapitazo, ndipo kuyambira pomwe ndimamva ngati ndakumana ndi vuto la momwe anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro awa angamve ngati akunyozedwa, osamvetsetseka komanso otayidwa. Anthu anganene zinthu zopanda chifundo, zopanda chidziwitso (O, kotero mukuyesa!) kapena kuchita manyazi ndipo osadziwa momwe mungayankhire.
Koma mwina chinthu chovuta kwambiri pankhani ya kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi ndi chakuti ngati muli paubwenzi wowongoka, n’zosavuta kumva ngati mukubisala poyera. (Ndimakuonani.) Ndipo pochita chibwenzi, n’kovuta kudziwa pamene kuwulula mfundo imeneyi kuli koyenera; ndi a gawo za yemwe inu muli, koma gawo loyenera kugawana.
Kwa maubwenzi ena, sizisintha kanthu. Kwa ena, zidzatero. Chinthu choyamba choyamba: nayi momwe mungabweretsere.
Ngati mukufuna kuyitulutsa ASAP, mutha kuyimitsa nthawi.
Nthawi ina mukadzaonana ndi chibwenzi chanu, muuzeni kuti muli ndi chinachake choti mugawane ndipo funsani ngati mungasungire theka la ola kuti mukambirane naye. (Mutsimikizireni kuti simukusiyana naye!) Mwina ndingachite zimenezo mukakhala kunyumba, ndipo n’kumuuza kuti mwachita mantha kufotokoza zimenezi (ndi bwino kuchita zinthu movutikira! ), Ndimachitanso mwachangu, mwachindunji komanso popanda kupepesa. Ikangotuluka, ndipo mwayankha mafunso ake aliwonse, pitilizani kuzinthu zina: Konzani chakudya chamadzulo, kuzizira kwa Netflix, khalani opepuka. Popeza mwina ndi kukambirana modzidzimutsa, sangakhale ndi chidwi choyambira. Izo sizoyipa. Yesetsani kuti musaganize mopambanitsa ma vibe osalowerera ndale.
Ngati mukufuna kuti ikhale yachilengedwe, mutha kuyang'ana kutsegulira koyenera.
Mwina ndi kukambirana kwachisawawa za kugonana kwachisawawa, kapena pali munthu wokonda kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha muwonetsero wapa TV nonse mukudya kwambiri, zomwe zimabweretsa kukambirana. Ndizovuta kudziwa momwe zinthu zidzakhalire, koma mudzadziwa zikafika. Padzakhala kukoka pang'ono m'mimba mwako kunena kuti: Iyi ndi nthawi yabwino kunena zomwe ndiyenera kunena.
Mwa kupeŵa kukambitsirana kwachibadwa, izi zimakupatsani mfundo zachidule zachilozero, kapena zimakupatsani mpata wowongolera kusamvetsetsana kumene angakhale nako. (Kwenikweni, si amuna onse ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali gay, David…)
Izi zati, ngati mutayesa kupeza nthawi yachilengedwe komanso yachilengedwe ndipo sizimadziwonetsera yokha, ndikwabwino kusintha njira ndikufunsa nkhani.
Tsopano, izi ndi zomwe mungachite kenako.
Powerenga reaction...
Zoonadi, zochita zake zidzakhala zonena, kaya panthawiyo kapena mtsogolo mwake. Koma chofunikira kwambiri ndikumupatsa mwayi wokayikira, chifukwa ndizotheka kuti sanakhalepo paudindo uwu. Mukumbutseni kuti izi sizisintha ubale wanu ndi iye konse. Simukuyang'ana abwenzi atsopano ndipo simukufuna kuti akhale chinthu chomwe sali. Malingana ngati akufunsani mafunso aliwonse omwe angakhale nawo ndikukumvetserani moganizira, zimakhala ngati yankho labwino. Kumbali ina, akakana kukambirana, kukudzudzulani, kapena adzitchinjiriza ndikufunsa kuti chifukwa chiyani sanawuzidwe posachedwa… chabwino, ndicho chidziwitso chofunikira.
Mukundiuza kuti ndikofunikira kwa inu kuti mnzanuyo amvetsetse ndikuvomera bisexuality yanu. Ndikuvomereza. Ndi gawo la yemwe inu muli, ngakhale ubale wanu ndi iye (kapena munthu aliyense amene mudzakhala naye pachibwenzi mtsogolomu) ndi mwamuna mmodzi komanso wowongoka. Muuze choonadi ndipo chitani chisanadye inu amoyo.
Ndikamaganizira za funso lanu, ndimakumbukirabe mawu wa ndakatulo Nayirah Waheed : Anthu ena atamva mgwirizano wa nkhani yanu; ena atamva nkhani yanu ikukulirakulira. Ndipo umu ndi momwe mumadziwira.
Ndi chibwenzi chanu, mukangonena, mudzadziwa.
Jenna Birch ndi mtolankhani, wokamba nkhani ndi wolemba wa Kusiyana kwa Chikondi: Dongosolo Lachikulu Lopambana M'moyo ndi Chikondi , chitsogozo chomangira ubale kwa amayi amakono. Kuti mumufunse funso, lomwe angayankhe mugawo lomwe likubwera laPampereDpeopleny, tumizani imelo ku. jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
Zogwirizana: The Ambiri Open Ubale Malamulo ndi Momwe Mungakhazikitsire Anu
