Amayi a mwamuna wanga akukumana ndi mavuto azachuma ndipo akufuna kukakhala nafe. Ndimamukonda. Iye ndi wabwino ndi ana, ndipo nthawizonse wakhala akuchirikiza mwana wake wamwamuna ndi ukwati wathu. Koma sindingayerekeze kukhala womasuka kukhala naye pafupifupi 24/7, ndipo ndida nkhawa kuti kusamuka kwake kungatichitire chiyani pa moyo wathu wakunyumba. Kodi machitidwe a ana anga aang'ono adzasokonezedwa? Kodi nyimbo yathu monga banja idzasintha? Kodi adzakhala kunyumba kwathu kutha? Mwamuna wanga akuganiza kuti tizimuthandiza. Kodi timatani?
Ndikwachibadwa kumva maganizo osiyanasiyana pa izi, makamaka ngati ndinu munthu amene amadana ndi kusintha. Inde, mukufuna kukondweretsa mwamuna wanu ndikuthandizira apongozi anu kuti abwererenso. Koma mulinso ndi malire, moyo wabanja wokhazikika ndi ana anu komanso nyimbo ndi mwamuna wanu zomwe mumasangalala nazo. Chifukwa chake, monga momwe zilili ndi zinthu zambiri, muyenera kunyengerera.
Muyenera kuthandiza. Ndikudziwa kuti zitha kukhala zosasangalatsa, koma ndi za amuna anu amayi . Amamukonda iye. Anamulera, ndipo ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la kukhalapo kwake. Kumutsekera kotheratu kungapweteke malingaliro a mwamuna wanu m’njira yaikulu. M'malo mwake, muyenera kunena kuti inde kukuthandizani ndikukhazikitsanso zambiri zakukhalako zomwe ndizofunikira pamoyo wanu. Izi ndi zomwe muyenera kukambirana ndi mwamuna wanu ndi apongozi anu patsogolo.
Akhala nthawi yayitali bwanji?
Ngati simumasuka konse ndi lingaliro la apongozi anu kukhala ndi inu, kudziwa kuti kukhalako kungakhale kosatha kungakulitse nkhawa yanu. Kaya ndi mwezi kapena miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, mukufuna kudziwa chomwe pulaniyo ili. Kodi akufunafuna ntchito? Kwa nyumba yocheperako? Kodi pamapeto pake amafuna kuthera pati ndipo nthawi yake yokhala ndi inu ingakwaniritse bwanji cholinga chimenecho? Khazikitsani nthawi yoyembekezeka ya kukhala kwake ndikuwuza mwamuna wanu kuti mukufunadi kumamatira.
Amafuna chiyani akakhala ndi inu?
Kodi muli ndi malo achilengedwe a apongozi anu, monga chipinda chogona komanso bafa? Kodi akufunika galimoto kapena thiransipoti, ndipo ndani aziwathandiza? Kodi mukhala mukumupinda pogula ndi kukagula mlungu uliwonse, kapena azingodzidalira mukukhala nanu? Kodi akupempha ndalama, kapena thandizo lina lazachuma, kupitirira pokhala? Ndibwino kuti mumvetsetse momwe mukuvutikira - ndi ndani amene adzakhale ndi udindo wosamalira zosowa zake.
Kodi malamulo oyambira ndi ana ndi otani?
Mukudziwa mmene zinthu zilili. Ngati apongozi anu ali ndi chizoloŵezi cha makolo, kudzudzula kapena kulangiza ana anu, amene amadziŵa kale malamulo a pakhomo panu ndipo ali ndi zochita zawozawo, mungafune kuuza mwamuna wanu kuti simuli bwino ndi kuwalera kwawo. Dikirani mpaka zitachitika kamodzi. Kaya mumamuitanira kunja kapena mwamuna wanu amatero, ndikofunikira kutsimikizira kuti pankhani ya kulera ana, nonse mumakhazikitsa malamulo. Ngati simupangitsa ana anu kumaliza chakudya chawo chamadzulo, zili ndi inu. Ngati muwalola kunyalanyaza ntchito zapakhomo kwa ola limodzi la TV, momwemonso.
Kodi mumapitiliza bwanji kukwaniritsa zosowa za ubale wanu?
Mudzakhala ndi zolemetsa zambiri komanso malo ochepa kwa inu nokha pamene apongozi anu akukhala ndi inu. Ngati mukuwopa kuti ubale wanu kapena nthawi yaubwenzi idzakankhidwira kumoto wakumbuyo, mantha amenewo ndi omveka. Chifukwa chake konzekerani m'masiku amasiku amenewo! Funsani apongozi anu ngati angalole kuwonera ana pafupipafupi kotero kuti inu ndi mwamuna wanu mutha kulumikizananso. Izi ziyenera kukhala zopanda pake, koma kumbukirani kutuluka m'nyumba ndikudzipezera nokha nthawi. Mukakhala kunyumba, mungamve ngati mukulephera, koma muyenera kumatuluka pafupipafupi ndi munthu amene angaone anawo.
Kumbukirani: Aliyense amafuna kuthandizidwa nthawi ndi nthawi, ndipo kukhalako kwakanthawi kungakuthandizeni kuti mukhale munthu wofunika kwambiri pa moyo wa mwamuna wanu. Onetsetsani kuti mwatchula malire anu ozungulira ana, nthawi yabanja ndi ndalama, komanso zomwe mukufuna kuchita pa nthawi yake kunyumba kwanu. Zopindulitsa ndi zabwinonso. Ana anu angakonde kukhala ndi mnzanu wina wosewera nawo, ndipo mwamuna wanu angasangalale ndi nthawi yokhala ndi amayi ake pamene akusintha.
Lolani mwamuna wanu athetse vutolo.
Mutapereka OK ndikunena momwe mukufuna kuti zinthu ziyendere, zili kwa mwamuna wanu kuti athetse ubalewu-ndi kumamatira ku mapangano omwe adakhazikitsidwa kuyambira pachiyambi. Ngati mupeza kuti ndiwe amene muli pakati, ndi nthawi yoti mukokere mwamuna wanu pambali kuti mumukumbutse kuti ndi zake amayi omwe mukusinthira moyo wanu, osati wanu.
Koma mwachiyembekezo, kukhala kwakanthawi kochepa ndi malire kudzakulolani inu ndi banja lanu lonse kukula m'njira zatsopano.
Jenna Birch ndi mlembi wa Kusiyana kwa Chikondi: Dongosolo Lachikulu Lopambana M'moyo ndi Chikondi , kalozera wa zibwenzi ndi kumanga ubale kwa amayi amakono. Kuti mumufunse funso, lomwe angayankhe mugawo lomwe likubwera laPampereDpeopleny, tumizani imelo ku. jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
Zogwirizana: Malangizo 5 Othandiza Kwambiri Kuti Mugwirizane ndi Apongozi Anu
