Kwa okwatirana angwiro omwe amati ubale wawo ndi wosavuta, timatsutsana nawo: mabodza! Mabodza onse! Maubwenzi amagwira ntchito. Kwa ena, kuyesayesa kumeneku kungabwere mwachibadwa, kuzipanga zikuwoneka zosavuta. Koma kwa ambiri aife, masewera osunga chimwemwe mumgwirizano wanthawi yayitali si chinthu chophweka, chifukwa chake pazaka khumi zapitazi zaPampereDpeopleny (inde, ndi zaka zathu khumi za anni!), takhala tikufotokoza zothandiza upangiri waukwati kuchokera kwa akatswiri onse ndi zokumana nazo zenizeni zomwe titha kuzipeza. Nawa malangizo asanu omwe apangitsa kuti maukwati athu akhale amoyo zaka khumi zapitazi.
1. Yesani 5:1 Chiyerekezo
Ndi zachilendo kumenyana. Koma ndi Bwanji mumalimbana ndi zomwe zidzatsimikizire ngati ubale wanu uwonongeke kapena wamphamvu mokwanira kuti ukhalepo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wochokera ku bungwe la Gottman Institute , chidziŵitso chodziŵika bwino chosonyeza ngati okwatirana adzakhalabe limodzi ndicho chiŵerengero cha kusamvana kwabwino ndi koipa. Izi ndi 5:1 chiŵerengero —pakuti nthaŵi iliyonse mukanena kuti mwamuna wanu saŵerengera ana mokwanira, mumaperekanso mayanjano abwino asanu (kapena kuposapo). Izo zikhoza kukhala kupsompsona, kuyamikira, nthabwala, mphindi yomvetsera mwadala, chizindikiro chachifundo ndi zina zotero.
Momwe mungachitire muzochita: Zikumveka zopusa, koma mukakhala rookie pamasewera omenyera nkhondo, yesani kuwerengera. Mutha kugwiritsanso ntchito zala zanu kuti muzitsatira. Palibe chifukwa chobisira mnzanuyo-ayeneranso kuwerengera.
2. Phunzirani chinenero chanu chachikondi
M'buku lake Zinenero 5 Zachikondi , mlangizi wa maukwati komanso mlembi Gary Chapman akunena kuti aliyense amalankhulana za chikondi m'njira imodzi mwa zisanu—mawu otsimikizira, ntchito zautumiki, kulandira mphatso, nthawi yabwino ndi kukhudza thupi. (Ena amatsutsa kuti pali chinenero chachisanu ndi chimodzi cha chikondi: chikhalidwe cha anthu .) Kumvetsetsa momwe wokondedwa aliyense amalankhulira chikondi ndi kulandira chikondi kudzatsegula zitseko za chiyanjano ndi kuyandikana.
Momwe mungachitire muzochita: Simukudziwa kuti chilankhulo chanu chachikondi ndi chiyani? Tengani mafunso awa kuti mudziwe! (Kenako tumizani ulalo kwa mnzanu.)
3. Kambiranani ndi kukonza zogonana
Poyambirira, mudakhala ndi mawu a chizindikiro cha kugonana, Elvis: Kukambirana pang'ono, kuchitapo kanthu pang'ono, chonde. Koma ngati muli momwemo kwa nthawi yayitali - tikulankhula zaka, mwana - kudzidzimutsa, kukopa ndi zikhumbo zokhumbira komanso zimachepa. Apa ndipamene kufotokoza momveka bwino zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukufuna ndikofunikira. Tsegulani njira zolankhulirana zokhuza kugonana. Lankhulani zomwe mukufuna ndikumvera zomwe wokondedwa wanu akufuna. Ngakhale titakhala pachibwenzi ndikukopeka ndi anzathu, kugaya kwathu tsiku ndi tsiku kumatha kukhala kotopetsa. Chilolezo chaperekedwa kuti muyike tsiku logonana pa Google Cal yanu. Psst: Ngati mukugwira ntchito kunyumba, palibe amene ananena kugonana kwamasiku ochepa zinali kunja kwa funso…
Momwe mungachitire muzochita: Katswiri wa ubale Jenna Birch amatitsogolera momwe mungayankhulire. Mwachitsanzo: Ngati mumakonda kugonana katatu pa sabata, koma wokondedwa wanu amakonda kamodzi pa sabata, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala ndi cholinga chapakati. Ndipo muyenera kuyesetsa kuti mupeze nambalayi, choncho kambiranani zomwe zingakupangitseni kugonana kawiri pa sabata.
4. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yabwino…mosiyana
Ukwati wautali kapena ubale umatanthauza kuti mukhala mukugwiritsa ntchito ma QT ambiri limodzi. Koma chinthu chimodzi chomwe anthu omwe ali muubwenzi wosangalala amachita sabata iliyonse? Iwo anagawanika. Kupatula nthawi kumapatsa aliyense muubwenzi kudzimva kwabwinoko komanso chidziwitso chokwanira, cha mbali zitatu chomwe chili kunja kwa mgwirizano. Izi zimakupatsani kukwaniritsidwa, mosiyana ndi kudziletsa , zomwe zimatha kuwononga ubale pang'onopang'ono. Kusowa kumapangitsa kuti mtima ukule bwino.
Momwe mungachitire muzochita: Lekani kunyengerera zokonda za mnzanu. Analemba mkonzi wakale wa PampereDpeopleny Grace Hunt: Nthawi yaulere ndi yopatulika ndipo sizimakupangitsani kukhala wofooka kuti musamagawane….Kwa zaka zambiri, takhala tikupirira zoseweretsa za wina ndi mnzake poganiza kuti tingakhale banja lochepera 't. Koma tsopano, tatsimikiza kuti tidzichotsera tokha ku zochita za ena. Ndipo muyenera kukhulupirira kuti ndife odzaza maboti osangalala chifukwa cha izi. Inde, ganizirani chilolezo ichi kuti musiye kukhala ngati mumakonda kuonera mpira.
5. Pepani m’njira yoyenera
Pepani ngati munamva choncho. Pepani kuti zidachitika. Pepani, koma mwayamba. Kumveka bwino? Izi ndi zongopeka - mawu abodza obisika ngati kupepesa. Tonse ndife olakwa chifukwa ndizovuta monga gehena kuvomereza umwini pa khalidwe lathu lomwe limapweteka wokondedwa. Koma kupepesa molakwika sikuthetsa ubale wanu. M'malo mwake, mabala omwe mumasiya kuti akule adzabweranso kudzakuvutitsani m'kupita kwanthawi.
Momwe mungachitire muzochita: Tsatirani njira zitatu izi popepesa m'njira yochiritsa komanso yabwino:
1. Vomerezani momwe zochita zanu zinakhudzira munthu winayo
2. Nenani kuti pepani
3. Fotokozani zomwe muchita kuti mukonze kapena onetsetsani kuti sizichitikanso. Osawiringula kapena kufotokoza.
