Takulandirani ku ‘Pakati pa Mapepala,’ mndandanda watsopano umene timayankha mafunso owerenga okhudza kugonana, maubwenzi ndi kupeza chisangalalo mkati ndi kunja kwa chikondi. Muli ndi funso loyaka? Tumizani kwa editor@purewow.com .
Ndikumvetsetsa; simunayambe kuyaka, ndipo mwadzidzidzi mukuda nkhawa kuti kuwalako kwapita. Koma ndikutsimikizireni kuti: Kugonana kumachepetsa m'maubwenzi ambiri, ndipo izi ndi zachilendo. Ndilinso F-I-N-E ngati nonse muli bwino ndi pafupipafupi-ngakhale kamodzi pamwezi, kapena kuchepera.
Nkhani apa ndi yakuti inu musaganize kuti mukugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo mokwanira, pamenepa, kusintha kuyenera kupangidwa. Musanaganize zothetsa chibwenzi, khalani pansi mnzanuyo ndipo tsatirani izi kuti muyatsenso moto.
Kambiranani pafupipafupi zomwe mukufuna, ndipo yesetsani kupeza nambala yoyenera.
Ngati mumakonda kugonana katatu pa sabata, koma wokondedwa wanu amakonda kamodzi pa sabata, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala ndi cholinga chapakati. Ndipo muyenera kuyesetsa kuti mupeze nambalayi, choncho kambiranani zomwe zingakupangitseni kugonana kawiri pa sabata.
Ngati mukuwotcha pakutha kwa tsiku, mwina muyenera kuyimitsa alamu mphindi 30 m'mbuyomu kangapo pa sabata. Ngati mwathamanga kwambiri m'mawa, konzekerani kugonana Lachiwiri ndi Lachisanu (mwachitsanzo) ndikugona mofulumira kuti zitheke. Mwinamwake mukufunikira tsiku lokonzekera usiku kuti muyambe kukondana.
Yesani zinthu zatsopano. Koma kumbukirani nambala imeneyo, ndipo yesetsani kuigunda sabata iliyonse.
Yambitsani, yambitsani, yambitsani—ndipo yankhani, pakafunika kutero.
Nthawi zina, kuyambitsa zinthu ndi gawo lovuta kwambiri - ndipo azimayi ambiri sachitapo kanthu mokwanira ndi okondedwa awo. Yesetsani kuyambitsa ntchitoyi pafupifupi theka la nthawi, liti inu kumverera m'maganizo, makamaka ngati muli ndi chilakolako chogonana kwambiri. Yambani inu kuchitapo kanthu pa zosowa zanu.
Ngati muli ndi chilakolako chogonana chochepa, dziwani kuti mukhoza kukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana. Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuyamba njira yodzutsa chilakolako musanakhale okondwa kugonana; simumazilakalaka modzidzimutsa. Ngati izo zikumveka ngati inu, auzeni mnzanuyo-ndipo musadikire mpaka mutakhala ndi maganizo ogonana, chifukwa sizichitika kawirikawiri. M'malo mwake, khalani omasuka kwa okondedwa anu pamene mukumvera, ndipo ingoyesetsani kukonzekera kugonana m'moyo wanu.
Lowetsani zachilendo mu ubale.
Ofufuza asayansi (ndi okondana nthawi yayitali) Art ndi Elaine Aron apeza kuti maanja omwe amatenga nawo mbali m'mabuku, zokumana nazo zosangalatsa zimanena za ubale wabwino kwambiri kuposa omwe sachita. Zatsopano zitha kulowetsanso ubale wanu ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuyambiranso moyo wanu wogonana.
Choncho, kugonana m'chipinda chosiyana cha nyumba. Yesani malo atsopano. Pitani kutchuthi, ndipo dzipezeni nokha kumalo atsopano. Onani, kuwona, kuwona, kulumikizana ndikugunda kuchipinda pambuyo pake . Zatsopano ndizofunikira pakusunga ubale wanu kukhala watsopano komanso wosangalatsa. Makamaka ngati mukufuna kukhala pafupi ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikusangalala ndi kugonana kosasintha ... chitani zinthu zatsopano nthawi zonse.
Onani zovuta zilizonse zaumoyo.
Ngati zina zonse zikulephera, onetsetsani kuti palibe chomwe chikuchitika m'moyo wanu kapena moyo wa mnzanu mwazaumoyo zomwe zitha kuchedwetsa chilakolako chanu chogonana . Zinthu zina zamaganizidwe monga nkhawa ndi kukhumudwa zimatha kuchepetsa libido, komanso mikhalidwe monga matenda a shuga ndi mankhwala monga SSRIs. Ngati chimodzi mwamavutowa chikuseweredwa, doc wanu atha kukupatsani kukonza koyenera.
Mwachiwonekere, ngati mwafufuza zonse zomwe mungasankhe ndipo zofuna zanu zogonana sizikukwaniritsidwa, ndiye kuti simungagwirizane ndi mnzanuyo. Koma musalumphe bwino kuti muthe, ngati chikondi chilipo. Gwirizanani kuyesetsa kuti moto ukhalebe wamoyo pamene mukukhala banja lokhazikika.
Maubwenzi ndi ntchito! Ndipo iyi ndi ntchito yomwe muyenera kuchita kwa moyo wanu wonse. Zabwino kuyamba pano.
Jenna Birch ndi mphunzitsi wachibwenzi, mtolankhani komanso wolemba Kusiyana kwa Chikondi: Dongosolo Lachikulu Lopambana Mu Moyo & Chikondi .
