Ah, ubale wa mayi ndi mwana wamkazi. Kungakhale kuwala kwa dzuwa ndi utawaleza à la Lorelei ndi Rory Gilmore , kapena, zowonadi, kukwera kothamanga à la Marion ndi Lady Bird. Mphindi imodzi mukufuula za sweti yolakwika, kenako mumasankha modekha pakati pa makatani a buluu kapena beige a chipinda chake (ndiko kuti, mpaka mwana wanu wamkazi asagwirizane ndi inu ...). Ndi chinthu chokongola, koma chikhoza kukhala chokhumudwitsa, makamaka ngati mukuchita ndi mayi wapoizoni kapena mwana wamkazi. Mulimonsemo, palibe ubale wabwino&manyazi;—ayi, ngakhale atsikana a Gilmore. Mwamwayi, mutha kukonza ubale wanu wa amayi ndi mwana wanu mosavuta pogwiritsa ntchito njira zomwe zili pansipa.
ZOKHUDZANA : Maulendo 15 Omwe Angapangitse Ubale Wanu Kukhala Wolimba
Zithunzi za MoMo Productions / Getty1. Khazikitsani Zoyembekeza Zenizeni za Ubwenzi Wanu
M’dziko langwiro, tonse tidzakhala ndi maunansi olimba ndi aliyense m’miyoyo yathu, kuphatikizapo amayi ndi ana athu aakazi. Koma zoona zake n’zakuti, dziko silili bwino. Makolo ndi ana ena adzakhala mabwenzi apamtima, pamene ena amangolekererana. Ngati mukufuna kukonza ubale wanu, khalani owona za izo. Mwinamwake simunalinganizidwe kukhala mabwenzi apamtima—zili bwino. Chomwe chingakhale chododometsa ndikupeza chiyembekezo chanu pa chinthu chomwe sichingachitike ndikukhumudwitsidwa ngati sichingachitike.2. Pezani Zokonda Zofanana
Kaya ndikuyenda mtunda kapena kogula kapena kukakonza zodzikongoletsera, dziwani zomwe nonse mumakonda ndikuzichita limodzi. Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino pamodzi sikuyenera kukhala ngati ntchito, komanso njira yosavuta yowonetsetsa kuti ndi kuthera nthawi yanu pamodzi ndikuchita zomwe nonse mumakonda. Ngati mwanjira ina mulibe zokonda zofanana, yesani zinthu zatsopano kwa nonse. Ndani akudziwa, mwina nonse mungayambe kupanga mbiya nthawi yomweyo.
3. Sankhani Nkhondo Zanu
Nthawi zina ndi bwino kuvomereza kuti musagwirizane. Amayi ndi ana aakazi, ngakhale kuti nthaŵi zambiri amafanana m’njira zambiri, ayenera kukumbukira kuti analeredwa m’nyengo zosiyanasiyana ndipo akhala ndi zokumana nazo zosiyana. Inu ndi amayi anu mutha kukhala ndi malingaliro osiyana kwambiri okhudza ntchito, maubale ndi kulera ana, ndipo zili bwino. Ndikofunika kuzindikira madera omwe palibe aliyense wa inu amene angasinthe malingaliro anu ndikuvomereza kulemekeza maganizo a wina popanda chiweruzo kapena chidani.
4. Phunzirani Kukhululuka
Kukhalabe ndi malingaliro oipidwa nkoipa kwa inu—kwenikweni. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kusunga chakukhosi kumawonjezera kuthamanga kwa magazi , kugunda kwa mtima ndi ntchito zamanjenje. Kapenanso, kukumbatira kukhululukidwa kungapangitse thanzi labwino mwa kuchepetsa kupsinjika maganizo. Kuwonjezera pa thanzi la thupi, kusiya kukhoza kupititsa patsogolo thanzi la munthu, maubwenzi ndi njira ya ntchito. Zaumoyo malipoti mkwiyo womangika wolunjika ku phwando limodzi akhoza kutuluka mu ubale wina. Kukwiyira amayi anu poweruza ubale wanu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kungawonekere mwa inu kumakalipira ana anu omwe mukuwadula chipewa. Kuchokera pakusintha momwe mumawonera mpaka kutsitsa pulogalamu yosinkhasinkha, apa ndi masewera asanu ndi atatu apadera kukuthandizani kusiya chakukhosi.
5. Yesetsani Kuyankhulana Kwanu
Monga muubwenzi wamtundu uliwonse, kulankhulana ndi chinsinsi chachikulu cha chipambano. Inu kapena mwana wanu (kapena amayi) simuli owerenga maganizo. Kulankhulana momasuka za mmene mukumvera ndi njira yotsimikizirika yopeŵera chinthu chofala kwambiri pamene nkhani yaing’ono imakhala nkhani yaikulu chifukwa simunaidule mwamsanga.
6. Ikani (ndi Kusunga) Malire
Malire ndi zitsulo zomangira ubale uliwonse wabwino, kotero kuwakakamiza ndi banja ndiye chinsinsi chokhalira kutali ndikukhalabe gawo la moyo wa wina ndi mnzake. Wothandizira Irina Firstein imatiuza kuti malire ndi njira yopititsira patsogolo sewero lodziwika bwino popanga zinthu zomwe mumamva bwino komanso otetezeka. Malire amakulolani kuti muyitane kuwombera, kotero mutha kupewa kuphulika kosafunika kwa dokotala wa mano kapena ma rolls a maso patebulo la chakudya chamadzulo. Afotokozereni amayi anu zomwe akunena kapena njira zomwe amakupwetekani, Firstein akufotokoza. Izi zitha kukhala chilichonse kuchokera ku ndemanga yachipongwe yomwe adanena za mnzanuyo mpaka momwe amakugwetserani pansi polankhula za kukwezedwa kwanu posachedwa kuntchito. Muuzeni kuti simudzakhala naye pafupi ngati angalankhule nanu choncho. Mungamuuzenso kuti ngati asankha kusayang’ana maganizo ake pakhomo pamene mwamuona, maulendo amenewo adzakhala ochepa kwambiri, chifukwa cha inu nokha.
Zingakhalenso zosavuta monga kukhazikitsa malamulo ang'onoang'ono kuti mupewe kuphulika komwe kungachitike. Ngati mukudziwa kuti amayi anu amayang'anitsitsa mtengo wa mandimu mu Whole Foods, vomerezani kuti muzigula limodzi pa. Trader Joe . Ngati simungathe kuyimilira ndikuwona mwana wanu wamkazi akugwiritsa ntchito maola ambiri akuyenda pa Instagram, pemphani lamulo lopanda foni mutatha kudya. Kukhazikitsa malire achilungamo komanso athanzi kumatanthauza kuti mutha kukhalabe gawo la moyo wa wina ndi mnzake, koma pazokha zomwe nonse mumavomereza.
7. Gwirani Ntchito Paluso Lanu Lomvetsera
Mumadziona ngati munthu woyamba kukambirana. Mutha kumaliza ziganizo ndikulozera malingaliro ngati palibe bizinesi. (Muli ngati Diso la Queer 's unlicensed therapist, Karamo, but IRL.) Ndimadana nazo kuti ndikuphwanyeni, koma kulowerera kwanu mwachidwi kwenikweni kukusokoneza luso la kukambirana lofunika kwambiri kuposa onse: kumvetsera mwanzeru. Mwamwayi, pali chinyengo cha momwe mungakhalire omvera bwino (kapena owoneka ngati amodzi), ndipo ndizosavuta modabwitsa. Musanayankhe, yimani kaye. Ndichoncho. Zoonadi.
Malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo mochedwa (ndi wolemba wa Osatulutsa Thukuta Zinthu Zing'onozing'ono ... ndipo Zonse Ndizang'onoang'ono ) Richard Carlson, amatchedwa kupuma musanalankhule.
Dr. Kenneth Miller, Ph.D., imapereka mtundu wa njira : Musanayankhe pokambirana, pumani mpweya. Osati mpweya waukulu, waphokoso, wodziŵika bwino umene umafuula kuti ‘Ndikuyesera njira yatsopano yomvetsera bwino!’ Ayi, mpweya wabwinobwino, wosavuta, wamba. Inhale, kenako exhale.
Dr. Miller akunena njira akhoza kumverera bwino poyamba, makamaka kwa anthu omwe sali omasuka kukhala chete. *Anakweza mkono* Zikatero, mukhoza kumasuka ndi mpweya wokha.
Koma n’chifukwa chiyani njirayo imagwira ntchito? Poyamba, zimakulepheretsani kusokoneza mwangozi aliyense amene akulankhula. Kupuma pang'ono ndi chidziwitso chachilengedwe kuti athe kupitirizabe zomwe akunena. Mwanjira ina, zimawalola kumasuka; popanda chitsenderezo cha kuyesa kutulutsa mawu, amamva kukhala okakamizika kugawana malingaliro awo.
Chachiwiri, kupuma kumapereka inu mwayi woganiziranso yankho lanu. (Kumbukirani mwambi wakale uja, Ganizirani musanalankhule? Ndizoonadi.) Ndani akudziwa? Mwinanso mungasankhe kusanena chilichonse.
8. Gwiritsani Ntchito Mawu a ‘Ine’ Pakabuka Kusemphana Maganizo
Ngakhale mu maubwenzi amphamvu kwambiri pakati pa amayi ndi mwana wamkazi, kusagwirizana kumachitika. Pamene atero, ndizothandiza kudzikonzekeretsa nokha ndi njira zofalitsira zinthu. Chitsanzo: Mawu akuti 'Ine'. Heather Monroe, wogwira ntchito zachipatala yemwe ali ndi chilolezo komanso sing'anga wamkulu ku Newport Institute , akusonyeza kuti m’malo mouza amayi anu kuti, ‘Mukuganiza molakwika,’ yang’anani kwa inuyo mwa kunena zinthu monga ‘Ndimakhulupirira ____’ ndi ‘ndikuganiza ____’ kuti muchepetse kukangana. Chinthu chinanso choyenera kukumbukira pamene mikangano ikuchitika n'zokayikitsa kuti palibe chabwino chomwe chingabwere chifukwa chokhudza munthu wina. Zingakhale zokopa kuuza abambo anu pamene amayi anu akukukwiyitsani, koma kukokera munthu wina pa mkangano wanu kungapangitse zinthu kukhala zovuta kwambiri.
Zithunzi za SDI / GettyZindikirani Ngati Ubale Wanu Usathere
Mayi ndi mwana wamkazi aliyense amakhala ndi mkangano wa apo ndi apo. Koma ngati nthawi zonse mumamva ngati ndinu woipitsitsa mukakhala kunyumba, banja lanu likhoza kukhala likupondaponda. zapoizoni gawo. Anthu akupha akukhetsa; zokumana nazo zimakupatsirani nkhawa,' akuti Abigail Brenner, M.D . 'Nthawi yokhala nawo ndi yosamalira bizinesi yawo, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala okhumudwa komanso osakwaniritsidwa, ngati simukwiya. Musalole kuti muperedwe chifukwa cha kupatsa ndi kupatsa osalandira kalikonse.’ Kumveka bwino? Ngakhale zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kuchotsa kholo lapoizoni m'moyo wanu, palibe manyazi kutero. Nazi zizindikiro zisanu ndi zinayi kuti ubale wanu ungakhale woyipa.1. Amachita nsanje kapena amayesa kupikisana nanu. Amayi anu amalakalaka kukhala wovina, koma adakhala wothandizira paulendo. Ndiye pamene mudaponyedwa ngati Clara mkati The Nutcracker pa zaka 12, amayi anu anakhala maola kukuwonetsani mavidiyo a iye zisudzo zakale za ballet ndipo pamapeto pake munayamba kudwala mutu pausiku wamasewera anu akulu. Ngakhale zingawoneke ngati zopusa kuti munthu wamkulu angachitire nsanje mwana wazaka 12, ndizochitika zomwe anthu omwe ali m'mabanja apoizoni amadziwa bwino kwambiri.
2. Amachita mopambanitsa. Chabwino, bambo anu anali openga pamene mumathamanga panyumba muli ndi zaka 9 ndikuphwanya vase ya cholowa. Koma ngati nthawi zonse amawuluka pa chogwirira chake chifukwa cha zinthu zomveka bwino zomwe mumachita ngati wachikulire (monga kumangika pamsewu ndikufika mphindi 15 mochedwa ku barbecue yake), ubalewu uli ndi poizoni wolembedwa ponseponse.
3. Amakufananitsani. Inu ndi mlongo wanu wamkulu ndinu anthu awiri osiyana kotheratu. Koma chifukwa chakuti iye ndi dokotala wa ana atatu ndipo ndinu mmodzi wolandira alendo ku ofesi ya dokotala, mchimwene wanu amakonda kuyesera kuti awononge awiri a inu. Mlongo wako akutenga njira yapamwamba, koma kunyodola kosalekeza kwa mchimwene wako kumakupangitsani kudzimva kukhala wosatetezeka ndi kuukiridwa.
Zinayi. Iwo amachita ngati ozunzidwa . Nthaŵi zina, makolo sangachitire mwina koma kudziimba mlandu kukopa ana awo. (Mukutanthauza chiyani, simukubwera kunyumba kaamba ka Chiyamiko?) Koma pali kusiyana pakati pa kusonyeza kukhumudwitsidwa ndi kupanga malo akupha mwa kuimba mlandu wina aliyense kaamba ka malingaliro awo. Ngati amayi anu akukana kulankhula nanu kwa mlungu umodzi chifukwa chakuti mwaganiza zokhala ndi anzanu chaka chino, mukhoza kukhala m’dera lapoizoni.
5. Salemekeza malire anu. Umakonda mlongo wako, koma nthawi zonse amakhala wopupuluma. Amakhala ndi chizoloŵezi chowonekera kunyumba ya banja lanu, osadziŵika, kuyembekezera kuti akhoza kugwa pabedi kwa masiku angapo. Chifukwa chakuti umamukonda, umalola, koma ngakhale atamupempha kuti asiye kuloŵa popanda kuyimba foni, amapitirizabe kutero.
6. Amakhala olondola nthawi zonse. Makolo anu amada munthu aliyense amene munakhala naye pachibwenzi, ndipo zayamba kuona ngati palibe amene angakhale wabwino. Ali ndi malingaliro ofanana pazantchito zanu, abwenzi ndi zina zonse. Ngati mwanena kuti ndinu okondwa ndi moyo wanu ndi anthu omwe alimo ndipo sangakhale kunja kwa bizinesi yanu, ndiye kuti ubale wanu ndi makolo anu ukhoza kukhala wowopsa (ngati si kale).
7. Amapereka chitsimikiziro. Chikondi cha kholo chiyenera kukhala chopanda malire, sichoncho? Koma amayi anu nthawi zonse amakuikani mikhalidwe yokayikitsa ngati kukuwopsezani. Ndipotu, mwamva mawuwo, ngati simukudzaza, * simuli mwana wanga wamkazi, kuposa kamodzi. Khalidwe lapoizoni? Inde.
8. Zokambirana nthawi zonse zimakhala za iwo. Mwangoyimba foni kwa mphindi 45 ndi mlongo wanu ndipo munazindikira kuti sanakufunseni funso limodzi lokhudza moyo wanu kapena momwe mukuchitira. Ngati anali ndi vuto laumwini kapena anali ndi nkhani zosangalatsa, ndiye kuti ndi chinthu chimodzi. Koma ngati izi zimachitika nthawi zonse mukamalankhula, ndiye kuti ubalewu ukhoza kukhala wowopsa. (makamaka ngati akukuimbani mlandu kuti simukumusamala ngati mukuyesera kusamutsa zokambiranazo.)
9. Amawononga mphamvu zanu. Kodi mukumva kwathunthu wotopa nthawi zonse mukamacheza ndi wachibale wina wake? Sitikunena za kumverera ngati mukufunikira kukhala nokha kwa kanthawi kochepa, chinachake chomwe chingachitike ngakhale ndi anthu omwe timakonda kukhala nawo (oyambitsa makamaka angapeze kuti kuyanjana kumachepetsa). Kuyanjana ndi munthu wapoizoni kumatha kukupangitsani kumva kuti mwagonja chifukwa zizolowezi zawo zazikulu, zosowa komanso zosamalira bwino zimatha kuyamwa mphamvu mwa inu.
ZOKHUDZANA : Zizindikiro 6 Zomwe Makolo Anu Akhoza Kukuwunikirani (ndi Zomwe Muyenera Kuchita Pazo)
