Tikamakamba za munthu amene akubera mnzake, nthawi zambiri timaganizira za kugonana. Koma nthawi zina chinyengo chimatha kuchitika kunja kwa chipinda chogona. Ndipo ngakhale sizingaphatikizepo madzi amthupi, zitha kukhala zosokoneza, ngati sichoncho. Ndiye chinyengo chamalingaliro ndi chiyani? Mwachidule, ndi pamene mumalumikizana ndi munthu wina pamtundu wapamtima, wamaganizo ndi kusagwirizana ndi wokondedwa wanu, ndipo zingakhale zowononga ubale monga chiwerewere. Koma momwe mumafotokozera ngati banja limatha kukhala lovuta, lokhala ndi mithunzi yambiri ya imvi. Kuti tithandizire, izi ndi zomwe akatswiri ena adanena za izi.
Ndiye, kodi chinyengo chamalingaliro ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
Kubera m'malingaliro kungakhale chilichonse chomwe chimakhudza mphamvu zamalingaliro zomwe zimaperekedwa kunja kwa chibwenzi kapena ukwati, akutero katswiri wazogonana Candice Cooper-Lovett. A New Creation Psychotherapy Services . Kubera kotengeka mtima kungakhale chilichonse chomwe chimachokera paubwenzi.
Chifukwa izi zitha kukhala zosamveka bwino, zimakhala zovuta kudziwa chinyengo chamalingaliro pamene chikuchitika (komanso kosavuta kubisa). Koma nthawi zambiri kubera kokhudza mtima kumaphatikizapo kukambirana komwe kumabwera chifukwa chokopeka, akutero katswiri wazamisala. Dr. Catalina Lawsin . Ganizirani zolemba zokopa, nthabwala zamkati ndi zoyamikira zomwe zimakula pakapita nthawi. Ubwenzi wakuthupi nthawi zambiri suli gawo la ubale-komabe. Pakhoza kukhala kukopa kwakuthupi mu ubale watsopanowu, koma mzerewu sunawoloke. Izi nthawi zambiri zimalola abwenzi omwe akuchita chinyengo chamalingaliro kuti akonze ubalewo kukhala wovomerezeka. Komabe, gawo lalikulu la kubera, kapena chibwenzi chilichonse, ndi chinsinsi kapena chinyengo. Choncho, kunyenga maganizo kwasonyezedwa zimawoneka ngati zowononga maubwenzi, kapenanso kupitilira apo [kuposa chiwerewere].
Kodi pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa chinyengo chamalingaliro ndi ubwenzi?
Koma ndife abwenzi, akutero mnzako. Dr. Cooper-Lovett akufotokoza, [Ubwenzi] sutenga pa ubale wanu wamakono kapena kukupangitsani kukhala ochepa kwa mnzanuyo. Ndipo ndi chibwenzi cham'maganizo, mwina mukukhazikitsa ubale wapamtima komanso wakuya kuposa momwe mungakhalire ndi anzanu a platonic. Ubwenzi womwe ukukulitsidwa muubwenziwu ndi wokhutiritsa komanso wokhutiritsa zofuna zaubwenzi za wachinyengo zomwe tsopano zikufunidwa kwa mnzawo watsopanoyu osati mnzawo wanthawi yayitali, akutero Dr. Lawsin. Zokhudza mtima zimatha kuyamba ngati mabwenzi, ndiyeno pamene ubwenzi ukukula kapena nthawi yolumikizana imakhala pafupipafupi komanso yamphamvu, maubwenzi amakula.
Dr. Cooper-Lovett akuwonjezera kuti muubwenzi pali malire ponena za kuchuluka kwa momwe timagawira tokha, koma ndi kunyenga kwamaganizo, mphamvu zathu zamaganizo zimakhala zofanana ndi zomwe zili mu maubwenzi achikondi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake chinyengo chamalingaliro chimakhala chowopsa, akutero. Komanso, mwina mumaganizira za munthuyu wamaliseche, ngakhale simunagone, zomwe simumachita ndi anzanu ena.
Chifukwa chake nthawi zambiri zimakhala zowononga kwambiri kuposa chiwerewere
Pamene mukuchita nawo chibwenzi, mumayang'anitsitsa ubale wanu wautali. Mphamvu zanu zambiri zikupita ku ubale wina. Mukudyetsedwa m'nkhani yokhudzidwayi, kotero kuti zinthu zomwe mungafune kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu mumapeza kuti simukuzifuna chifukwa mukuzipeza kwina, akufotokoza Dr. Cooper-Lovett. Izi zingayambitse kusagwirizana muubwenzi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti onse awiri azikhala kutali ndi wina ndi mzake.
Chifukwa cha izi, kafukufuku wapeza kuti kubera kwamalingaliro ndikowopseza kwambiri kuposa kubera kwakuthupi. Pankhani yogonana, ndizogonana mosamalitsa popanda kukhudzidwa pang'ono (pokhapokha zitayamba mwanjira imeneyo), Dr. Cooper-Lovett akuti. Koma pamene malingaliro akhudzidwa, zingakhale zovuta kuti munthuyo asiyane ndipo zingawachititse kuti athetse chibwenzi chawo chatsopanocho, akufotokoza motero.
Ndipo, monga zochitika zakuthupi, nthawi zambiri zochitika zamaganizo zimachitika pakakhala mavuto a ubale monga kusowa kwa ubwenzi, Dr. Lawsin akufotokoza. Tsoka ilo, m'malo mowonekera poyera za chikhumbo cha wonyenga chofuna kufufuza maubwenzi ena, anthuwa amachita zinthu kuti akwaniritse zosowa zawo, kusagwirizana ndi ubale wawo.
Kodi muli ndi mlandu wonyenga maganizo?
Ngati mwamuna wanu wantchito akuyamba kumverera ngati chinthu choposa bwenzi la cube, Dr. Lawsin akupereka lingaliro lodzipatula kwa bwenzi latsopanoli ndikudzifunsa nokha mafunso ofunika: Chifukwa chiyani sindikufuna kuuza wokondedwa wanga za ubale watsopanowu? Ndi zosowa zanga ziti zomwe sizikukwaniritsidwa zomwe zikukwaniritsidwa mu ubale watsopanowu? Kodi ndimayesetsa kuchita chiyani paubwenzi wanga woyamba pamene ndikupanga mtunda pochita nawo nkhani yamalingaliro iyi?
Ndikofunika kudziwa pamene mwadutsa malire omwe angawononge ubale wanu ndikuudula kapena kuika malire, Dr. Cooper-Lovett akuti. Unikani ngati muli okondwa muubwenzi wanu wapano komanso ngati mukufuna kudziwa zomwe mukufuna komanso kupanga chisankho chabwino ngati mupitilize chibwenzi kapena kupita patsogolo.
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