Maubwenzi ali ngati moto wamoto. Zowona. Kuti zonsezi zitheke, muyenera kuthera nthawi ndi mphamvu pomanga maziko ndi kukonza malawi. Pambuyo pa kutentha koyamba, moto umakula ndipo pamapeto pake mumakhala ndi gwero lokhazikika la kutentha ndi kuwala komwe kungakupangitseni kudutsa mumdima. Ngati lawi lamoto lizimiririka, muyenera kuyambiranso kapena kuyika pachiwopsezo kuti lizime. Mukudabwa momwe mungayambitsirenso ubale (kapena moto wamoto)? Zomwe zimafunika ndi nthawi, chidwi komanso, nthawi zambiri, nzeru zochepa.
Nchifukwa chiyani zipsera zimazimiririka muubwenzi?
Mphamvu zoyaka, zachigololo zomwe zimapezeka m'magawo oyamba aubwenzi ndizodabwitsa - kwenikweni. Kugwa m'chikondi imakweza milingo ya cortisol ndi dopamine muubongo, kutanthauza kuti mumakhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse. Malinga ndi Richard Schwartz, pulofesa wa zachipatala ku Harvard Medical School, chikondi chimachepetsanso milingo ya serotonin yomwe imatipangitsa kukhala osangalala. kutengeka ndi munthu wathu watsopano . Ndiye, ndi kusintha kotani komwe kumapangitsa kuti zoyaka izi zizizima? Moona mtima, zinthu zambiri. Ndipo zimachitika kwa aliyense.
Choyamba, zachilendo za chikondi chilichonse zimatha ngati mupitiliza chibwenzi nthawi yayitali. Tikamadziwana bwino ndi wokondedwa wathu komanso zizolowezi zawo kudziwika bwino, pamakhala zochepa zoti tipeze. Ubongo wathu umadzisintha kuti ukhale wosalowerera.
Chachiwiri, nthawi zambiri timakhala ndi ziyembekezo za zomwe a moyo wathanzi kugonana ziyenera kuwoneka ngati, molingana ndi mabuku, makanema ndi media. Ngati ndipo moyo wathu weniweni ukapanda kukwaniritsa zoyembekeza izi (zosatheka kwambiri), zoyaka zingatulukire kwa ife.
Ndiye, chiwerengero chilichonse cha zochitika zazikulu pamoyo zimatha kuchepetsa chilakolako ndi mphamvu zogonana pakati pa anthu awiri. Mavuto a m'banja, kusuntha, kusamuka kukagwira ntchito komanso kupezeka kwa matenda aakulu ndizochitika zamphamvu zomwe zingawononge moyo wanu wogonana. Osatchulanso kusinthasintha kwachilengedwe kwa libido ya munthu (kusiyana komwe kungathe kukulitsidwa ndi zochitika zonse za moyo ndi / kapena mankhwala atsopano).
Kukalamba kokha, chinthu chomwe tonsefe timachita, nthawi zonse, kumasintha milingo ya mahomoni ndikusintha momwe matupi athu amawonekera ndikumverera. Dr. Tameca N. Harris-Jackson, Mphunzitsi Wovomerezeka Wogonana Wovomerezeka ndi Nationally Certified Sexuality Educator ndi American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, akuwuza Healthline mitundu iyi ya kusintha ikhoza kumabweretsa kusagwirizana kwamalingaliro ndi thupi , kupangitsa kugonana kukhala kovuta kapena kosasangalatsa.
Ngati mukumva kuti mukufunika kubwezeretsanso ubale wanu, yang'anani malingaliro omwe ali pansipa ndikuyamba kutenthetsa maganizo kuti muyese chinachake chatsopano.
1. Khalani owona mtima kwa okondedwa anu za momwe mukumvera
Katswiri wa Kugonana & Ubwenzi wa SKYN , mphunzitsi wovomerezeka wa kugonana, katswiri wa kugonana, ndi wolemba Gigi Engle akuti palibe njira yoti muyambitsenso chibwenzi popanda kuyankhula. Kukambilana chifukwa chomwe mukukhulupirira kuti kukonzanso kuyenera kuchitika komanso zomwe mukuwona kuti zikusowa muubwenzi ndikofunikira kuti zitheke. Musamayembekezere kuti mnzanuyo akhale 100 peresenti patsamba lomwelo, komabe. Zomwe munthu aliyense amakumana nazo ndizovomerezeka ndipo zake zimakhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi zanu. Kumbukirani: chinsinsi chomangirira ndi kusunga ubale wabwino ndikuwonetsetsa kuti onse omwe akukhudzidwa amve kuti akumvedwa, kulemekezedwa, kukwaniritsidwa komanso otetezeka.
2. Muzikopana pafupipafupi
Njira imodzi yosavuta yoyambira kuyambiransoko, yomwe imatha kukhala yovutirapo kapena kukakamizidwa poyamba, ndikukopana ndi mnzanu pafupipafupi. Ganizirani mmbuyo ku masiku oyambirira a chikondi chanu. Ndi njira ziti zokopana zomwe mudagwiritsa ntchito wina ndi mnzake kuti museke ndikuwonetsa chidwi? Yesaninso! Yesani china chatsopano! Phatikizani kukhudza, kuyamikira ndi…
3. Kutumizirana mameseji—ngakhale mutakhala m’chipinda chimodzi
...Kutumizirana mameseji! Mameseji achigololo sikuti amangodziwitsa mnzanuyo kuti mumawaganizira, ndi njira yabwino kupanga chiyembekezo . (Izi ndi zathu momwe mungatumizire ma sexting .) Anthu okwatirana ambiri amalowa m’chizoloŵezi chongokhalira limodzi atakhala pamodzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali—chizoloŵezi chimene nthaŵi zambiri chimaphatikizapo kumangokhalira kulira moyandikana pabedi n’kumayang’ana mafoni awo. Makamaka pa nthawi ya mliri wa COVID-19, ndikosavuta kuyiwala nthawi yomwe mumathera ndiukadaulo, m'malo mokhala ndi mnzanu. Nthawi ina mukadzapezeka pa foni yanu, yambitsani zotumizirana mameseji ndikuwona zomwe zikuchitika. Isungeni kuti ikhale yotsekemera komanso yokoma kapena pitani pazinthu zonyansa komanso zonyansa. Zonse zimatengera kuti mnzanuyo adziwe kuti mumawaganizira mozama.
4. Sinthani chinthu chimodzi
Kuyambitsanso ubale kumakhala kovutirapo. Simukuyenera kuchita chilichonse choyatsa moto nthawi imodzi. Yambani ndi kusintha chinthu chimodzi mu ubale wanu. Izi zitha kutanthauza kugonana pamalo omwe simunayesepo kale (monga bafa kapena chipinda chogona alendo), kuvala zovala zamkati zatsopano, kuyesa malo atsopano kapena kubweretsa zina, uh, thandizo . Kupeza chinthu chachilendo kwa inu nonse sikungowonjezera zachilendo za zochitika zonse, kumakugwirizanitsani pamodzi muzochitika zomwe munagawana.
5. Pangani kugonana kukhala chinthu chofunika kwambiri
Ganizirani zolemba zanu zatsiku ndi tsiku komanso zamlungu ndi mlungu. Bwanji osaika tsiku la chibwenzi kapena kugonana pamndandanda umenewo? Ngati kuyatsanso motowo ndikofunikira kwa inu, ndikofunikira kwambiri. Pamafunika khama ndiponso kudzipereka. M'malo mowonera kubwereza kwa Ofesi pa Netflix, wonongani nthawiyo kuti mudziwe matupi a wina ndi mnzake. Tikulonjeza kuti Netflix idzakhalapo mukabwerera.
6. Sakatulani ndi kugula chidole chatsopano pamodzi
Njira yotsimikizirika yoyambitsiranso chibwenzi—kapenanso chiwembu—ndi kufunafuna munthu chidole chatsopano kuti muphatikizepo m'moyo wanu wogonana. Izi ndizotheka nokha (ndipo onani pansipa chifukwa chake ndi njira yabwino), koma kusakatula ndi mnzanu kungakhale kosangalatsa kwambiri. Sizidzangokumbutsa inu nonse kukhala okondana limodzi, zidzakupatsani mwayi wowafunsa za zongopeka kapena zokhumba zomwe sananenepo. Chotsatira: kuyesa.
7. Dzitenthetseni (popanda bwenzi lanu)
Mphunzitsi wa kugonana ndi ubale Lucy Rowett ndi wamkulu wolimbikitsa kudzisangalatsa . Nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kudziwa zomwe mungafunse kwa mnzanu ngati simukudziwa zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva bwino. Azimayi nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi vuto lokumbatira ndikuwunika momwe amagonana kuposa amuna, ngakhale izi sizili choncho nthawi zonse.
Kugonana kwakhala koyambitsa komanso konyansa kumayiko akumadzulo komanso m'magulu ndi zikhalidwe za makolo akale, akutero Rowett. Ngati simukupeza njira zodzitengera nokha, kukhala okondana ndi okondedwa wanu kumakhala kovuta kwambiri.
Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yokhayokha kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala achigololo popanda mnzanu. Mutha kudabwa ndi momwe zimakhalira zopatsa mphamvu komanso zowunikira.
8. Yesani kulabadira chikhumbo
Sexologist ndi wolemba Dr. Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D, amanena kuti pali awiri mitundu yapadera ya zilakolako . Chikhumbo chodzidzimutsa chimachitika chokha, popanda chifukwa china koma mukufuna wina ndipo mukumufuna tsopano. Chikhumbo choyankhira chimachitika chifukwa cha mchitidwe wina. Mwina mumagwira diso la mnzanu m'chipindamo kapena kupsompsona milomo yawo mopepuka. Kuchita zimenezi kukhoza kuyatsa moto mwa inu nonse womwe umatsogolera ku chinthu china chotentha kwambiri. Kupatula nthawi yochulukirapo pakufuna kuyankha kungathandize kuthetsa zopinga m'chipinda chogona.
Chodzikanira chachikulu apa: Chikhumbo choyankha chiyenera kukhala chogwirizana nthawi zonse. Sizikutanthauza kupsopsona mnzanuyo ndi kupsompsona motsutsana ndi chifuniro chawo ndikuyembekeza kuti asintha malingaliro awo. Mchitidwe uliwonse wapamtima uyenera kukhala wabwino ndi onse okhudzidwa.
9. Pitani ku malo okhala
Kuyenda masiku ano sikungakhale kosangalatsa kwambiri, koma nthawi zonse kumakhala kokhala. Konzani kumapeto kwa sabata kunyumba ndi cholinga chokha chogwirizanitsa ndikuyatsanso moto. Ngakhale kugona usiku wonse ku hotelo yakomweko kumatha kuchititsa kuti moto uwuluke. Apanso, zachilendo za chinthu chatsopano chomwe nonse mumapeza pamodzi ndichofunika kwambiri kuti motowo ukhale woyaka.
Ngati mungaganize zokhala kunyumba ndikuyang'ana pakungodzidziwitsani nokha, timalimbikitsa Mafunso 36 Omwe Amatsogolera Kuchikondi .
10. Werengani kapena penyani china chake…chosangalatsa
Rowett ndi erotica fan ndipo amalimbikitsa makasitomala ake kuti apeze zofanana zomwe zimayatsa moto wawo. Kuwerenga mokweza kwa wokondedwa wanu kapena kukhala ndi kalabu yazachikondi ya anthu awiri kungakhale kulimbikitsa ubale wanu. Kuonera mafilimu achigololo pamodzi kuti kutembenukira nonse inu pa njira ina osati kulowa maganizo koma kugawana zilakolako ndi zokonda mu ndondomekoyi. Nanga bwanji buku kapena filimu imene imakusangalatsani? Kodi chimawasangalatsa ndi chiyani?
11. Fufuzani ndi kukumana ndi akatswiri ogonana
Mabanja ena amapeza mankhwala ogonana kukhala othandiza kwambiri. Ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera mavuto kuchokera kwa wina yemwe waphunzitsidwa kuwongolera maanja pazovuta komanso zovuta. Kugonana ndi maanja kungathandizenso okondedwa awo kufotokozera zosowa zawo ndikukhala ndi mawu abwino kuti athe kuthana ndi zovuta m'tsogolomu.
Nthawi zina, pamakhala mkwiyo wokhalitsa womwe umayambitsa njira yolumikizirana. Kaya chifukwa cha chigololo cham'mbuyomu kapena kusagwirizana pakukonda kugonana, chithandizo ndi njira yathanzi, yotetezeka yochotsera mkwiyo ndikuphunzira kuthana nawo nthawi yomweyo.
Momwe mungayambitsirenso ubale wanu sizidzawoneka mofanana ndi momwe maanja ena amachitira, ndipo izi nzabwino. M'malo mwake, ndikofunikira! Pewani kudzifanizira ndi ena zivute zitani. Anthu okhawo ofunikira ndi inu, okondedwa anu ndi lawi lamoto lija pakati panu.
